i don t want no h.i.v.
i don t want no bullets inside of me
i don t want no d.w.i.
i don t want satan sticking that fork in my big eye

i don t need no driveby in front of my crib
i don t need your father to find out what i did
last night with you baby in the back of that cab
in fact i don t even want to meet your dad

i need a bullet-proof-body-rubber-evil-shielding-device
something that ll let me park my car
when i m fucked up in the middle of the night
i need a bullet-proof-body-rubber-evil-shielding-device
something that ll let me park my car
when i m fucked up in the middle of the night
call you up the next day and act real nice

i don t want to live on the mean streets of chicago
i don t want you to call me bobo
i don t need to watch t.v. twenty four hours a day
i don t need some motherfucking ad exec trying to tell me what to say

i need a little more gravy on my potato
i need a little more pepper on my big ole pink tomato
i need a little more treble in my stereo
i need a little more blonde in my haireeeooo

i need a bullet-proof-body-rubber-evil-shielding-device
something that ll let me park my car
when i m fucked up in the middle of the night
i need a bullet-proof-body-rubber-evil-shielding-device
something that ll let me park my car
when i m fucked up in the middle of the night
call you up the next day and act real nice

i need a risk free money back guarantee
don t need no problems hounding me
i need to make sure my girlfriend s not got mafia ties
don t need nobody coming after me
i need to make sure that i keep my door locked try to keep my gun stocked try to keep it cocked try to keep it from firing
late at night at my head when i m in bed trying not to think about the things that i said to you yesterday